brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
that's an acceptable place to lick
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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