You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
