I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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