the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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