Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
