They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
