First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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