I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
