dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
