okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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