I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
3pm strippers are depressing
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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