i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
