At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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