I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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