In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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