do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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