It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize