At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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