I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
