My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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