I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
