the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Everything about him screamed your future.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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