I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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