yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
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Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize