Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize