when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
