I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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