She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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