So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
