Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
