I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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