I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it's not cheating when I paid for it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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