I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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