when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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