Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
