I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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