I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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