singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
