I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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