She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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