these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
