I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
