Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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