i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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