cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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