He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
