He had one of those small greek statue penises
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I currently don't understand fingers.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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