Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
