I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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