She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize