just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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