I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
