Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
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update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
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I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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