Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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