I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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