it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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