is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i barfeds in our rink
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
