You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
