she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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