no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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