Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
