North Korea, Best Korea!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
