I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
