like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
